Naa-ssss-T!

We have been hit! It was Ground Zero at our not so happy household. Some sneaky little nasty-ass bug contaminated us. If we were at all interested in a whole body cleansing, this was the time for it!

Last Wednesay, we were happy making plans for Jose having 2 days off and a family trip to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom, aunties, and Grammy. It was turning out to be perfect! Then, it happened. "Mommy my tummy hurts!" Assuming it was yet another tactic to delay bedtime, we repeatedly told her to go to sleep! Oh how wrong we were....By 10pm, it was clear-very clear-that this was no trick.

Since she was having vomitting episodes, Jose pitched a sleeping bag on the floor of her room. I was in charge of the clingy small child. Since she usually calls out for me and ends up in our bed it was a natural choice. I was laying in bed with her and feeling guilty while Jose dealt with Pukey Girl-and feeling a somewhat happy that it wasn't me on mop up...when at about 3am, my turn began. It was not pretty-someone was getting sick about every hour, and since doors were open and lights were on, even if it wasn't in the same room no one was sleeping. This went on tortuously and all too soon it was daylight. I had to deal with the baby I was supposed to be watching-calling her house to make sure Momma got my text and had made other plans.

Throughout the day we laid about and tried to rest in between clean up duty. Sometime by the evening it seemed to subside. Whew!

Friday was relatively calm-more lounging to recoup and a quick rip to Walmart for some supplies. Plans remained in place for our family gathering....

The truck was packed and we were set to go, when Saturday morning...WHAM! Elly was sick again. It was oh so sad, but we had to leave her home with Jose and I drove off for the day with Briana. That in itself was not so enjoyable simply because she was clingy and I was worried about contaminating the rest of the clan-especially my grammy who is still medically delicate. By the time I returned home, Elly was still really yucky and Bri had started the next nasty symptom-I will not elaborate....

I obtained an appt for Sunday (yeah...Mother's Day.....). As we woke up, Jose found himself feeling horribly and I was on my own (yeah....on Mother's Day...). I dealt with the appt, comvinced the dr that the girls didn't require IV hydration (THANK GOD!), hit up the grocery store for various BRAT diet supplies, Pepto for Jose, and some self pitying pastries for myself (yeah...Happy Mother's Day....). The rest of the day was all yucky. Lounging and cleaning and caring for all of the other members in my family. I was so done-clingy kids, nasty clean up, and feeling overworked. In then end, we were better enough for a short drive and then I self medicated with some chocolate cake and wine....

FINALLY, it is Wednesday again, and we have had our 1st day without any sort of bodily fluids being ejected at mach force to clean up. The whiny clingy pissy kids are normalizing. Dehydration concerns are letting up....

I think, dare I say it....I think, we might be on the mend. If you have nothing else for me, please send me some magic healthy germ fighting vibes. I am so so so done with this crap!!!!

The Creation of a Germaphobe

Generally, I am pretty relaxed about germs and my kids. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely HATE when they are sick-for two reasons. First, it makes me so sad to see them battling and suffering the common ailments of cold and flu. Medicine only goes so far to making them comfortable, and it does make me nervous to dose them up. Secondly, having sick children is so much work! Especially when they are BOTH sick. They make messes, are emotionally needy and grumpy, and no one gets any sleep, even though they need it more than ever!

Lately though I feel a change. This stupid Swine Flu! I worry about sending my sweets out inthe big bad world of nasty germs. We always wash up after shopping and being out and about, Now I wonder if that is even enough. I look at people with the Mean Mama Bear Look if I see them coughing. I walk a wide circle around them to avoid sharing whatever contagious illness they may have.

Schools are closing because of reported cases. It makes me second guess sending Elly to school....

We have a doctor's appt for Bri today-just a standard well baby check since she is now 2. I will be extra suspicious of the other patients waiting. It is hard to contain a 2 year old in the waiting room, and I will just have to hope she doesn't pick anything up.

Jose is a delivery guy and imagine ALL of the germs he comes into contact with as he passes the signing board to a person, or a box gets passed to him.

I mean come on people! This is me, a person who passes on the flu shots because well, the flu always happens shot or not....I survived having the chicken pox, why have a shot for it? Runny nose? Just make sure it gets wiped into a tissue-no need to protect us.....

I hope it gets resolved soon. I understand there are always new icky bugs and there will always be that 1 in so many chances and that sometimes there are horrible reactions....But in the meantime, we will be extra cautious and cross our fingers we can not participate in this disease.

Oh My Goodness I Was Bursting With Pride!

Today I took my loves to JCPenney for our yearly photo shoot.

Right, I know, remind me that I am late and that their birthdays have past already...BUT I got there, ok?

Not only did I get there, I was there with 2 outfits for each of them (matching of course!).

Can I just tell you all how wonderfully awesome the shots were? I wanted almost all of them! Thankfully, I am no newbie at this and I was able to be controlled in my purchases!

The girls were hamming it up with wonderful spirit and smiles! There were so beautiful and my heart was bursting with "Oh yeah, they are mine! You can look and appreciate my sweet peas, but nope-all mine!"

I get the pictures in a few weeks, and hopefully before that the email proofs. Then I can share...until that happens though, you will have to wonder-and of course, agree with me even without the proof! :-)

And Not a Tweet I Tweeted

So I signed onto Twitter the other day, thinking I wanted to check it all out. Apparently you have to be a Twitter-er to roam the Twitter World. So I started a Twitter Id. I cruised it a bit, didn't see the BIG THING, and sighned out. I planned to foh-get all about it. Then, an email came to me....

"_______" is following you on Twitter.

Then another one....

Ironically I have a following (of 2!). I have yet to Tweet a profound thought. I figure I have my brain wrapped up in Facebook and my blog, not sure how to divide it into yet another social networking website.

This could be dangerous if I allow myself to succomb into it. I will have to step up my learning curve. Hey since I already think in terms of Facebook Status Updates (Hanna is.....sitting on her fat ass watching stupid tv while eating bon bons-As an EXAMPLE) I might as well utilize those to entertain my followers.

Do you Tweet on Twitter? Any pointers?

Earth Day Report Card

Last year in May I blogged about our commitment to becoming a more environmentally conscience family. I think it's a good time to see how we have done in almost a year.

This is last year's checklist of what accomplishments:

1. We compost
2. We have a very large garden
3. We water our garden with a very conservative but effective drip system
4. We use Eco friendly laundry soap (ECO from Costco)
5. Jose commutes to work in a beater car that gets GREAT gas mileage
6. We recycle almost everything possible (I "sell" my cans and bottles to the local recycle place, and everything from toilet paper rolls to cereal boxes go out in the bin for garbage day)
7. We have unplugged all electrical plugs that are not being used
8. I hang a good portion of my laundry to dry-especially in the summer
9. We have replaced most of our light bulbs with the cfl bulbs
10. We have reduced our lawn watering to once a week

This year we can add:

1. We are using green cleaners throughout the house. I use Bon Ami instead of Comet and other abrasive scrubbers. I use a combination of vinegar and rubbing alcohol for the glass and mirrors. I use the Green Works line and Method as well. We now can add Kirkland's Green Dishwasher Detergent too.
2. Our garden is organic and we rarely fertilize our lawn.
3. We recently found an AWESOME source for horse poop-to use in our compost and in our garden.
4. This year we have purchased so many more organic foods. Since Bri has shown food dye allergies, our choices are so much more limited, thus forcing us to look for better options. This tends to apply to the whole family.
5. I almost always bring my reusable bags to my shopping trips. On the off day that I forget I try to minimize my bag usage and ask the bagger to "over-pack" the bags and get as few as possible.
6. As often as possible I do my shopping at Costco and get more at once, so I drive less and my purchases are in larger quantities-making less packaging.
7. We used less AC less summer and less heat during the winter. Our bill showed we did decrease our gas usage (but not the electricity...it's a fine line I tell ya!)
8. I am active in a program with TerraCycle to recycle Capri Sun and other juice pouches. I also have shared this program with dozens of my friends and some have taken up the cause as well.
9. My 4 year old daughter can now point out items she sees discarded on our walks that should be recycled. She also has become a light and water sentry-making sure excessive usage is not happening.
10. Our household is becoming known for re-purposing "garbage" into new and innovative items. I have been making homemade toys utilizing odds and ends that would have been in our landfills. Jose has made THE MOST AMAZING barbecue trailer that will be a mean-ass tool for competitions and mass cookings. It comes from an old compressor tank. Almost all of it comes from various scrap metals and even the heat shield from our old oven we had replaced.

I feel pretty successful in our attempt. I hope that next year we can say that more of our purchases will be organic and "green" from the grocery store (the cost is so prohibitive!). I also hope that we can continue to educate our friends and family in the quest. Any of our next major appliance purchases (the dishwasher and clothes washer are both limping along) will be energy savers. I try to not succumb to the technology temptations and keeping up with the Joneses. As much as I would love to upgrade the computer, the camera, the cell phone, the radios etc I will not until these items NEED to be changed out. The e-waste problem is sickening to me, and I really try to not be a big part of it.

So that's my report in...any ideas are welcome! What are you doing that I am not? What can I do to move forward in my quest?

The Perfect Birth Control!

There's a catchy title eh?

I have mentioned that I am watching a friend's baby. She is the daughter of a lady that teaches near us and is also friends with another mama from my group. The peanut will be unnamed as an effort to maintain her privacy and the respects of her family...

Today's post is definitely inspired from this new job. I have thus far watched Peanut for 6 days earlier this month and then again starting this week. The 1st part was only partially difficult and I chalked it up to adjustment. This week so far (yup, 2 days in...) has been HARD!

Yesterday, I decided to lump us together into the Bjorn and the double stroller. I must've looked like a real fertile myrtle...either that or a crazy mad lady.... We have had some killer heat these past days and so Peanut, being only 3 months old must be protected from the sun. I had her in some lightweight pants and a short sleeved onesie. She had a hat on, and in the Bjorn she sat. I tried to use a receiving blanket to drape over her arms and legs, tucked into the straps of the front pack. With Elly in the front and Bri in the back, I figured I could trek around the my 2 mile loop. Uhm...yeah...not so much. I would get a few steps, and then the paci would be spit out. I would stop and fix that and head on. Then the hat fell off. Then the receiving blanket repeatedly fell off. Trust me, stopping every couple of feet would a happy experience make. I decided to cut our route off a bit to make it home in time for Peanut's Mama to meet us at the house for a nursing session. At one point a 911 emergency call was heading right by us. Usually I cover my youngest's ears, but being that she is not so tiny and delicate as Peanut, she lost on that protection. Luckily, I think the fire fighters saw me and cut the siren for the moment and just ran the lights.

Well we made it home, Peanut sacking out for a snooze and much to my surprise, Bri did too! She never does this....and when she does she wakes up when we stop. Well, not this time. I kept us outside since it was still shady and fresh, and Elly played with her sidewalk chalk. Peanut woke up and had some floor (grass) blanket time. Nothing like tummy time under a shady tree! Bri Bri slept on. Finally I decided to wake her and begin our usual lunch and nap procedures. Well that went to hell in a a hand basket! Lunch was rejected, so I assumed we should take it into naptime. Peanut's mom headed back to school and i had 3 kidlets to slumber into dreamland. Uhm....no nap..no rest for the weary (me). Bri flat out refused to sleep, and when I tried she screeched waking Peanut. Elly only slept an hour of her usual 2.5 hour nap, and by pickup time, I had 3 tired kids and a bald spot-no kidding...but I really wanted to pull my hair out!

Today, was a TON better, but still had it's severe weak spots. We started out horribly. I had to ready the 3 girls, and myself for outing to dance class. I got Peanut fed and asleep for a hopefully long enough morning nap. Got myself looking FLY! (lmao!) Seriously...I was feeling it! Then Bri laughed a bit too loud and woke up the not so sleeping Peanut-who was outraged that she wasn't allowed to continue her catnap. At this point I hobbled through dressing all 3, doing hair on the 2, and grabbing snacks and bottles and diapers all the while to the sweet serenade of Angry Peanut. Elly kept trying to shove the paci in her mouth and Bri kept rocking the carseat...

As I searched unsuccessfully for my sunglasses I found Elly curled up on the couch with her hands covering her ears and Bri was following me with her own wails asking me to hug her (how she says she wants to be picked up). I decided my best course of action was to plunk my girls into carseats and seatbelts grab the baby, forget about the glasses and start the truck. 2 blocks into our 5 minute ride Peanut fell asleep. Dance class was quiet and relatively happy due to an awesome mocha and a cookie for my Bri.

Coming home was equally fine and the rest of the day went better.

Let's just say that I am ABSOLUTELY sure that our family is Spot On Perfect with 2 kids. I have no interest in going backwards. I like that my life is relatively calm and certainly so much more predictable. I will get my snuggles and baby smells while I am watching Peanut and feel content watching my daughters evolve, and my life as a parent take shape.

Bri Bri is a Birthday Girl!

Today we celebrated a birthday! Baby Briana is not a baby anymore. She is 2 years old! As I did for Elly, I will do a quick then and now. You can see for yourelves how she has changed.

Awesome!

Today I called for the eye appointment that is WAY overdue. I probably only did it because my last pair of contacts officially died yesterday. I can handle my glasses-except when the sun is out. Since we are having nice weather come our way, it became obvious that I needed to me take initiative. Crossing my fingers I dialed the number. the cheery receptionist answered and I began my quest.

Since they were already booked for the week (Imagine that! People actually think ahead?), she looked for a cancelation. Uhmmmm, yes! 1 opening! Sadly, their one available spot did not jive with our Zoo plans. So, I apologized and thanked her for trying and we made the apppointment for 2 weeks from now. (Probably like MOST people do.)

Then I embarked on the secondary plan. Obtain contacts! I asked politely if the dr would be open to letting me try some samples until my appointment. She checked and AWESOME! I now have in my possession 1 more set of contacts. That will get me to my officialy check up and then I can order them like a good rule following non-procrastinating patient.

The Golden Scale

I have this scale, located in the bathroom. It is a digital scale, originally purchased to follow the snail like growth of my Elly.

Now, I use it keep myself on track. It champions me and it hides nothing. I can instantly tell if that extra piece of pizza was detrimental or not. These past 2 weeks I have been so off the wagon, it's not even funny. I haven't exercised because the mole biopsy was taken from my lower left back (or as I tell people from the Back Fat). I was given no restrictions by my doctor, but it is in such a location the every move, waist up, pulls at the bandage. I haven't wanted to pull out the stitch or interfere with healing.

So I figure, if there is no exercise, why should I eat with a conscience? (Yeah, no logic there...but it reveals typical thinking on my part)

So just to make sure I am not so far off my path, I check in with my friendly scale every few days.

1st time: 1?1.8 lbs (numbers are hidden to maintain some semblance of personal pride). My reaction? Ok! I am not so far off!

2nd time 1?1.8 lbs My reaction? Wow same number as before-looks like my body is doing pretty good!

3rd time 1?1.8 lbs. My reaction? Look at Lil Ole Me! I am able to eat like a slob and my weight stays the same. Oh...the exact same...oh as the past few days..down to the decimal...Uhmmm yeah, something is not right.

So I change the battery. Yup, confirmed, fuzzy numbers.

After the battery was changed out, my weight was attempted again for a REAL check in.

1?2.4 lbs. My reaction? Ah ok, so still not so bad, but I have inched upwards again. Time to reel it all back in.

My biopsy site has been un-bandgaged and un steri-stripped for a few days. Looks like my hesitation was right as I did pull it back open reaching for something. It is currently re-bandaged and under a neosporin protective shield. Hopefully as the weather gets nicer again next week and we have no school and dance I can work some calories off and get back on the track to a svelte and total babe bod! (lol, well ok maybe not quite that, but at least 7 lbs down before summer clothes come out).

People

I have been meaning to write this for a while now. We all know how diligent a blogger I am....

In my short career as a Preschool Mom, I have observed some things. It all revolves around the way people drive...

1st of all, it is amazing how quickly people drive past the school and in and out of the parking lot. Apparently that the motivation behind this is only about themselves and their kid. Can you imagine how it would be if that same parent (flooring it into the lot and scraping chassis as they do the speed bumps) slammed into someone-just to get THE parking spot and avoid the tardy slip? I somehow missed this part of the school scene when I was teaching. I certainly passed my share of tardy slips out....but never saw the parking lot scene. It is jaw dropping to me, even several months in. I am there twice a day for dropoff and pick up and the scene is the same.

2nd, there is a certain grandparent that drives me completely bonkers. I just smile and nod....not worth saying anything and making waves. He is one of those guys that ekes total machismo swagger. How obnoxious...I am thankful I am not married to him for that many years of his marriage. He drives in BACKWARDS into the lot, waiting even on the side for the cars with right of way to pass and give him room. Parks in the handicap spaces-which is awful considering our preschool is integrated with special ed kids whose parents probably DO have placards. He leaves the MAN car (yes it's some version of a quasi cop american made sedate sedan) running in the middle of the lot, blocking in others. When someone says anything he puffs up his sagging ex weightlifter's chest over his paunchy belly and replies, "Well tell them to come talk to me, heh heh heh". He lingers after drop off to chat with my friend and I, as if he is one of the girls, but the convo is condescending and centralized on him. We now have taken to walking to one of our cars (not parked in the lot and usually not close to the front) to get away from him. Creepy it is that he HAS to watch the kids enter completely in the building. He cannot accept that the teachers can and will get the class (particularily his grandbaby) without failure.

I figure we have a few more weeks of this year's preschool experience and then come August we will start up again. Take a break and then come back ready to smile and nod and scream inside my head. These types make me crazy-I am typically a rule follower except when I feel obstinate-often...lol. I do follow the rules that are basic and logical, the ones that allow for order of the people and whatnot. The complete disregard for others is what rubs badly to me. I really try to make my circle wide enough to not cause problems for others, to not make waves in their lives. I teach this to my girls, and I had to teach enough ill prepared children in my career that th world DOES NOT revolve solely around them. The fact that he is so blatant about it and then talks himself up like the king of all is vomit inducing....

Just smile and nod...make small talk and run along....thus is the introduction to my life with school aged children.

The Story of A Scary Mole

Once upon a time, there was a Fair Maiden. She was not sun shy and approximately once a year, obtained a sunburn. Much to her dismay, she saw a mark. It was a black mark, similar to a tattoo located on her lower back. Over the course of the next year, she observed it...noting its size, color and changes. At some point she deemed it necessary to seek the advice of a medical professional....

She went in for her appointment, and went away missing a part of her body. The scary mole was taken off of her and kept for further studying.

A week went by...as her back healed her brain kept thinking up the possibilities.

Finally, with her courage bolstered, she put in a call for the results. Much to her delight, the results proved to be heart lifting!

Yes, folks I am the fair maiden and my scary mole is for naught. I can be thankful that the biopsy came back with a benign result. Apparently, they think it is a birth mark that has begun changing hormonally. It had its own blood source and was growing cells and pushing outward. The nurse today told me that I was free and clear-no Melanoma. YAY!

Lesson learned? I can be doing more to prevent situations like this. There are so many unpreventable illnesses and diseases, and for melanoma (skin cancer), all I need to do is wear my sunscreen and prevent sunburns. Hopefully, I can get through this upcoming summer season without a sunburn. AND I can commit to keeping my daughters protected.

Ain't no idle hands here...

At least I can say I have been busy. No mental ruts, no hormonal emotional outbursts, just plain ole busy.

After Elly's Tinkerbell party, we were again gearing up. We have had the arrival of my newest responsibility, Baby Girl R. I will be watching her for a few days a month while Mommy teaches nearby and Daddy works out of state. That in itself has been an adjustment for all of us. Next, we were setting up for the girls' double birthday party. Jose and I thought it would be kind to our friends and family to only put on one party for the both, since their birthdays are about 3 weeks apart. That was Saturday. Now, a 1/2 week later, I have a minute to post on the blog!

Next we have some Easter celebrations and 1 more birthday party! Whew!

Happy 4th Birthday to my 1st Baby Girl!

Today is a wonderful day! Elly turns 4! It is with wonder, amazement and pride that I look back at our adventure thus far! From the long awaited pregnancy to the swollen legs and 26 hours of labor, to chubby cheeks and curly first locks of hair, to an inquisitive and sensitive toddler, to our preschooler, it has not failed to be fabulous (even the hard and difficult times are well worth it!) We are blessed to have our Elly Girl and it is mind boggling to imagine forward to all the experiences that will be as we continue to help shape and mold her into an adult. I risk turning this post into a sappy hallmark card of mother's wishes and memories...so in lieu of that I will share a few pictures...

Then

Today

Think Tink!

We are preparing for a small friends party for Elly's 4th birthday. She has chosen the Tinkerbell theme. As an activity, we will be doing a spin on the classic Pin the Tail on the Donkey. I asked Jose if he would be willing to draw out a poster sized Tinkerbell without wings. The kids will be placing wings on her in the game. Here is his masterpiece!

Of course, it took him all afternoon to complete. The girls enjoyed watching her come to life on his sketch pad, and last night before going to bed, Bri said good night to Tink. Awesome!

Accomplished!

It's too bad no one can read my mind, because I have written a ton of blog posts...in my mind. They never made it to actuality this week. Let me tell you, I had great intentions....BUT the week was so awesome, guess that's why the time was never made.

It was one of those weeks.....

It was "spot on"!

I felt like it was all working so well, and now that I write about it...I bet the mojo goes away.

Last week was a week when I was feeling it all come together. Perhaps the timing is right and I will be seeing more like this? I have had time to exercise a lot, and seeing and feeling results is amazing! Keeps a girl inspired... I was able to get to more things around the house-makes the world feel less chaotic when it is tidy. The girls and I were jiving without full moon hijacking. They listened more to me, they played well alone and together and as a group we we in good form. It wasn't stressful, emotional or hard. It was smooth and awesome.

Imagine that, feels like life after babyhood is finally congealing a bit. My girls are getting older (almost 4 and almost 2), so we could see some sort of normalcy....sleep is happening, mommy is getting a little bit of mommy back, the girls are developing into little people.

It's a nice feeling. One that this control freak appreciates to the utmost.

Accepting and Acknowledging....

In the past week I have been mulling over a concept.

BALANCE.

Definition from American Heritage online
verb-To bring into or maintain in a state of equilibrium.

For a control freak such as myself, this is a topic of persistence. I find it permeates in my parenting, my personal world, and general rationalization that often floats in my brain.

Currently it can applied to finding the perfect balance for a person (specifically my Grammy) after having a life altering accident. For me, for this situation....it all balances on the idea of integrity. This is a lady that has had 80 years of strong independent living. She was influenced by the financially critical years of The Great Depression. She graduated at 16 from high school. Having grown up in Maine, she worked her way out to the west coast, stopping at various intervals for work and school.

Without sounding like a eulogy (because while that is something that could be needed at some point in the near future, we are NOT there yet....), my point is to indicate what shaped her as she grew into the person I know.

After falling in November, she has still not left the hospital. Well, she has, but has been in the rehab facility. Either way, it's not home. We as a family have been rushing to arrange matters because Grammy is being released from her facility due to little progress in her physical therapy. Truth be told, I don't believe that anyone believes she will ever be independently mobile. It would be nice...

So now, we are having to recognize that an era is ending and a new reality will have to be created. My mom and aunts have been scrambling to make it happen. I have helped whenever possible. The new reality, will be that Grammy is being moved to my Aunt and Uncle's house. She will require 24 hour care, while being mostly in bed....the balance that I keep struggling with has to do with the extreme change of lifestyle for my Grammy. There is no grace involved. Kinda like a clumsy attempt at dancing (like I do....).

Before the fall, she was out and about on her own-in complete charge of her own care, of her own home and life business, make thoughtful choices about the direction she wanted to go-short term and long term. Now, there is no weekly bridge game, no knitting (she can't remember the patterns she has ALWAYS knitted), no painting, no walking the 2 blocks to Traders for her 2 Buck Chuck and other grocery miracles. Now, she relies on someone for everything-personal care, a glass of water, remembering things.

Her house will be empty for a while, and probably boxed up and sold. Her castle. She left in an ambulance thinking she would be home after her leg healed. She hasn't been back in 3 months. It is doubtful she will again. I walk in there and look around-absorbing it all. Thinking of her motives in decor, of the photos she has all over, and why those are the ones she opted to have out. I look at her food in the cabinets, thinking of her plans to make a meal. Material items being what they are....I think they still have merit. They represent as person, a life, memories.

How do you re-write the reality, and make it balanced to allow for the new needs, but to preserve the integrity of the person. Perhaps I am over thinking this-as Lizzie often points out. But to me it is imperative to keep Grammy's life enriched, to enable her to maintain as much as possible, while allowing that she is not in any shape or form in the same place as 3 months ago. My aunt and uncle and cousins will be re-writing their own realities. How do they balance what they have in place with this new wrinkle?

I imagine, more than anything for Grammy-it is huge just to be released from the institutional world. She is so excited to be leaving. Who knows how long this plan will function, will be in action. Who knows how much my Grammy will maintain for herself, and for how much longer.

I do know I am sad-sad that the stupid simplicity of a broken leg has left her with the complete loss of so much. I know that we have no control over life and death-the manner in which those occur. I am having trouble acknowledging the truth. I often wonder if (and slam me if you wish) coming back to our world after being so critical in ICU, was worth it for her. Integrity-it doesn't come from a Rehab facility....that is deterioration. That is just crossing off the minutes inside of a small 4 walled space, the smells, the noises, the pure and total reliance on a staff that may or may not actually care. It's just wrong. There is no balance in that place.

Ok, I could probably take this long post to another few hundred words, and so I will stop here.

Purely Pictures Post

The weather is beginning to be enjoyable (ie sunny and mild). Yesterday we took a walk and ended up at the park. It was the 1st time probably all winter that we have all played together-Bri sometimes plays while we wait to pick up Elly at school.

The girls had a blast playing TOGETHER. I am starting to see more of the relationship building. As always, Bri followed her sister and tried it all! (There were times when I was trying to help up impossible advanced climbing structures and then running over to the other side to make sure she didn't go head over...all because Big Sissy was doing it.) Here are a few pictures I managed while I didn't have to work so hard to help Bri keep up with her sister.

Meanwhile, while we were playing, Jose and Chesie were playing too! They went to help out at a hunting competition, and then after had some free hunting time!

Check in time

So I have been MIA.....This is due to the influx of people in my house as well as continued germs. Both girls were diagnosed with ear infections last week and it took a few days for them to be less whiny and clingy. Then I was on super duper cleaning duty. Jose's parents came for a visit last Friday. We had a weekend of family fun, and then I was helping them to complete some projects yesterday.

Today, the In Laws are off on their own, visiting friends and family. We were supposed to have dance class, but it was canceled because Miss Barb has caught kid germs.

So far, I am enjoying the quiet calm of having no plans. It may just kill me though as my almost 2 year old and almost 4 year old are reaching new lows in their developmental behavior. I can almost feel myself channeling my mother as I holler "NO FIGHTING", "GO TO YOUR ROOM" and "LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE!". With the rain and icky sickies that we have been dealing with we are all stir crazy!

To sweeten the mood, I will post recent pictures of my girls.

Remember, looks can be deceiving...

I have a few more days as family hostess. I hope to pop back on again soon.

A New Era

The other day we went to visit one of my dearest friends and her family. They are a family of 5, with 2 daughters and a son. Heather is one of the first real friends I made while in college. She is part of the wonderful trio-Heather, Shelly and Hanna. We spent our glory-ahem, well we spent our first 4 semesters together at West Valley College. At 1st we met by chance, Shelly and I had a class together and so did Shelly and Heather. Later, we took several classes together, and Heather and I even worked together... It's been a great thing. Now we are respectively, Auntie Heather, Auntie Shelly, and Auntie Hanna. It's been 15 years this year and while we now have to jostle our schedules around to create visits, we are still very close.

The odd thing is this: while we chatted-Heather and I, Jose with Matt, the kids played (my 2 match ages with her younger 2 almost perfectly). Heather and I cruised through a series of topics. At one point, we were discussing our health. She has recently moved back to the South Bay and has the same insurance we have. I was suggesting some doctors that I have enjoyed having. Then we shifted to various health issues. We discussed cholesterol, anemia, thyroid, etc. All the fun stuff.

After a bit, we packed up our brood and headed home. It was a super nice visit. Totally different than those in the past, simply because it was so simple. Bring the kids over, men talk, women talk, and kids play.

As I was thinking over our visit I started to chuckle. Our topics of conversation have changed so drastically. We used to drool over guys, talk about music, fashion, classes, and places to get out to-and often while we cut class at a local cafe. Now we are discussing face creams and aging skin, budgets and recipes, cholesterol and health issues, and kids.

Admittedly, we are growing (or already grown) up. In fact, I turn 33 today. Shelly celebrated in October and Heather will enjoy this new age in April. I seriously have no problem with adding another year (although the number 33 is a bit daunting to me-perhaps the solidness of the double 3's?). It was just another reality check of how my life has meandered into new realities. Long gone are the carefree college girl days. Long gone are the financially irresponsible days, and long gone are the days when life was simple.

I am so wonderfully blessed for the realtionships I have been in and have been able to maintain for so long. It is nice to have friends that support me and match me. We have built a friendship that has contained somuch of our life and I am well aware it will continue for much longer. We will be discussing wrinkles and grey hairs and high school rebellious children in our next era.

If that is the only reason to go to college, then I sincerely recommend it! Well that and the education and career that follows....

Friday Tidbits

Well I have a thousand and one things to say, and can't seem to get 1 post together, so I am doing it in blurbs.

• I am 1 lb short of my birthday goal-Monday is the BIG DAY
• Bri has peed on her little potty quite a few times now. We aren't intentionally training, but it's nice to see soem real interest. Makes me feel like I can turn it into something with purpose soon enough. She won't be 2 until April!
• I had an xray today for a lump on my finger. It;s a somewhat painful lump at the base of my index finger. I 1st notice it with some pain when holding things. Then I felt the bump. It's my 4th lump-all are different things!
• My dr also referred me to a dermatologist for a scary mole. YIKES the thought of skin cancer freaks me out. The thought of ANY cancer freaks me out!
• My in-laws will be here starting Thursday, for about 3 weeks.
• I just canceled my MYSPACE page because it was phished. That freaks me out too.

That's enough for now...Just wanted to let you all know I am here, and not fading out.

Peace out!