Sacrilege I tell Ya!

It is a sad sad day for me.... I come to report the downsizing of yet another icon in our lives. It started with Ice Cream, and Cereal and Gum. In the last year, these are some of the items that have been made smaller, as a result of the current national financial state. I understand that cost cutting and allowances must be made for there to be a balance. This however, is the straw that broke that broke the camel's back.

Honeymaid has made the graham cracker smaller! Yes folks, you read it right. I pulled out a cracker to appease (no, read this as "quiet so that Mommy can play more on the computer") my toddling daughter. As I pulled it out I noticed how much smaller it was. Narrower and shorter. (I will share a picture as an example.) Not only is the cracker smaller, the box is too. Instead of a 16 ounce box, I noticed it is a 14.5 oz box. So much for the simple things staying the same....

















Consumers, watch carefully. Especially for products that are your staples. The companies are banking that you will not notice the changes and will continue to pay the same or even more for your regular items. The 2 crackers are from different companies. The bigger one is the Safeway generic graham. The smaller, is as noted the brand name.

As my kids don't notice the difference, I am thinking I will pay the lesser amount for more product. I happened on this box last week, simply because of an awesome coupon from Safeway. A box for 99 cents. So for this price, I am not feeling duped. But in times to come, I will be more wary. Oh, and what's up with the funky shape? There is no regularity....

Customize Me...

If I had my way.....

I would design my body to my own standards. This is yet another topic I came up with while I was running.

I would have my legs and but from my teen years, but would keep my hips and curves from motherhood. I would take my "badge of honor" from childbearing-my baby pouch-and use it to rebuild my poor lackluster boobs....they took a hit from nursing....

I don't want to be a stick slim no curves gal...I don't mind having some "extra". I would like it to be not saggy, rolling, or lumpy. I would even accept the stretch marks.

I don't mind running and sit-ups and leg lifts and arm curls and squats. I don't particularly like these things, but I would glady trade doing them half heartedly once or twice a week for the conditions stated above...I am not looking to be Mrs. Mom America, only to be a fit more refined. Where is my fairy godmother? A flick or her magic wand could do this right away....

Until I find her (or she finds me) I am resigned to my dietary and exercise agenda. 3 more lbs til my birthday goal, and 8 more to my total goal....

Getting Involved

Another instance of my brain thinking BIG things! WATCH OUT!

I was running the other day, and as I huffed along, my brain meandered through a variety of ideas. I saw someone's extra large lot and chaotic garden. While we have one of our own, this one reminded me more of a community style garden. Well that streamed my thinking to other gardens I have seen in cities that promote Community Gardening...and that led to the fact that we don't have one here in my town. That led to my involvement with some seriously rocking mamas here in town, that would appreciate a community garden and quite possible could be huge factors in creating one.....Yeah, that's my plan.

I am tossing around the concept of proposing a community garden to our City Council, and if that doesn't get accepted perhaps in conjunction with the school district. When I lived in San Jose, there were several, one being at the school I taught and others at various parks I worked at with the Parks and Rec Dept. There is an awesome one where my mom lives....

A community garden has so many positives outcomes to it! I am so excited at the prospect of proposing this and hopefully being involved in launching it. Our Council is very conservative and so embroiled in internal politics due to city growth and financial failures that I think our proposal has to be well thought out and planned. It needs to have a clear outline, with expected outcome, and city involvement. Some of the results I hope to achieve are:

• A heightened awareness of organic gardening-including composting
• Helping people to understand more ecological water usage (assuming we aren't rationing water due to drought....)
• Utilizing "dead" or underused urban spaces.
• Teaching people to appreciate producing their own foods-and getting a bit further away from processed foods.
• Involving the youth
• Bringing people together in the interest of neighborhood and community in a city that tends to be full of commuters.
• Reconnecting with our town's agricultural history

To begin my quest, I have started to talk it up with some mamas that I think are likely to be interested, and focused. I also have been researching online, and hope to investigate nearby cities that have successful gardens. My mom has informed me that I need to find a Master Gardner to help in the planning. Let's face it, my talents are still developing as a grower of green life. Our family garden is mostly due to the talents and energies of my dear husband. BUT I am motivated and LOVE projects. I am committed to our town of residence, and to public education....it will be a teaching moment of grand scale.....

I will update as I proceed, but I thought it would be nice to share this with my blog friends. If you know of any fantastic Garden models, or have any words of advice, I am all ears.

Loss Prevention

Today my youngest child, of age 22 months, decided to practice her craft. We were doing some shopping. Our mission was looking for Valentine's Day shirts. While we were in GAP, I had let her out of the stroller. It is a nice way to teach her to stay close and have some freedom while behaving in public places. This is easier to do when it's just me and the little one, her sister being in school. SO, back to the topic at hand....As I was browsing possible outfits choices, Bri Bri had taken it upon herself to also do some shopping. My sweet one was stuffing packs of pajamas into the basket below the stroller. I had seen her doing this, and reminded myself to correct it before we left. I forgot. Could it be that her massive tantrum about being returned to her seatbelted stroller took dominance of my mind? I paid for my 2 shirts, walked all the way around the shopping complex to where we parked. As I looked into the basket for a wayward paci, I saw the loot.

Oh SHIZZLE! I had to walk all the way back (something to be said for the exercise at least). Back into GAP I strolled, already embarrased. As I was piling the packs onto the counter, the cashier walked over to me. I explained that my child had done some shopping without permission. She was very understanding about it, thanked me for my honesty and asked if I wanted any of it. NOPE, it was all 3-6 months boys pajamas. Seriously, not a thread of it useful. After completing my task, I walked yet again (4x's!) back toward the truck.

Silly girl....guess I will have to be watching out for my little sticky fingers...

Why Do I Blog? Possible Pity Party-Be Aware

There has been a teeny tiny little nagging voice in my head lately. It might explain my lack of posts lately.

Why in the world do I blog?

Sharing everything from my internal innards to my beautiful babies to my mindless ramblings. It is a personal and vulnerable experience.

So why do I do it?

I originally set out to blog because "all my friends were doing it...". Well, sort of. I was introduced to blogging by Lia. She made it seem so appealing. Her blog is well layed out-with great graphics. She has a fantastic following with people who interact with comments. She has even branched out into various blogger groups. There are fun conferences with goodies and perks.

I loved blog stalking. I felt like I was being invited to peek in on her world. I started to read other people's blogs as well. It really gets to be quite time consuming to check in daily with all the blogs on my favorites list.

I always maintained that I was intriqued about blogging but surely I couldn't keep up with the commitment of regular posting. Afterall, I was having trouble staying on top of my various online groups. One more thing was a bit over the top especially with the ever increasing demands of my daughters, household, and husband.

Then, my friend Lizzie started hers. Damn! I decided to jump into the mix. Fishy Tales was born.

I found that there were many parts that I did enjoy. The 1st was the challenge of setting up my blog and learning the ins and outs of this type of technology. I thrive on this. It is how I have learned everything computers/laptops (I seperate these 2 items), internet, and software programming.

I also found that I enjoyed the mental exercise of writing. It helped to imagine the readers and their reaction, taking it from basic journaling to a more exacting article. After years (4 now) of not working, and feeling like my brain is getting mushier and mushier, this is refreshing.

I hoped that my family and more distanced friends would utilize my blog to keep up (regularly) on the happenings in my life.

Finally, I did enjoy the anticipation of the readers. I not so secretly hoped for a following-like Lia and some of the popular bloggers.

Lately I find myself re-evaluating the reason for my blog. I haven't had my friends (real-life) and family reading unless I send the link. There is a small group of people that have been reading (THANK YOU!) on a regular basis. So, where does this leave me? I do still enjoy learning about the technology, and I do still find it nice to collect my thoughts through writing.

But do I need to do it publicly? Therein lies my biggest predicament. Would I continue if I were writing into a traditional journal? Would I do it if it were a word doc? Probably not. I know myself...there seems to be something about peer motivation that keeps me moving.

For now, I have decided to continue-but do share your feelings-especially if you blog.

Also, consider yourself warned that I may indeed close up shop some day, if I can't silence the voice....

Can you hear me now?

I am trying to decide about my phone issues. I had for the longest time this Motorola phone. It was basic-no camera, no internet. It really served its purpose. I endured it, battered and bruised. Then, in December I went in to our Mobile Provider's store. I was adding my mom to our family plan. I began looking at phones. Those gleaming new phones, with a world of new capabilities....beckoned to me. I worked with the salesman to choose a new one. I settled on a RAZR. Cool deal, I got it for like $19.00 after my 30 dollar rebate. And it is modern, sleek, and up to date. Seems like a win-win....

Not so. I am clumsy. My body is constantly banging into so wall or door (seriously-not the classic abused wife story...). In addition to the poor personal space issues, I drop things. All the time. Sadly, this includes my phones. The 1st phone mentioned did very well with this. It explains the bruising. But that phone took a kicking and kept on ticking. I cannot say the same for the Razr. I have owned it for about 2 months now. It looks worse than the other one. It actually is broken at the hinge and is all cockeyed. I think I damaged the speaker too...it is especially crackly.

Today I went in to investigate my options. I could a) take a loss and revert to the old phone. b) invest some more money even if it extended the contract a bit more. c.) see if there were some way to get the thing exchanged for an exact same thing, only new. d.) finagle a repair job.

The salesman who helped me last time was the one who helped today. That was nice, as he was sympathetic and extra helpful. He looked things up, and learned that I wasn't eligible for anymore cheapy deals. Bugger. Then he did see that I could get this one for $39.99. I had my 30.00 rebate from the Razr. That cost me $9.99. Not a shabby pay out for abusing my electronics. I went for it, especially since he threw in a free car charger (all my other stuff was set for motorola...).

The problem now? I am not sure I like it. There are a ton less functions....texting is horrible, and the menu sucks. I can't seem to make shortcuts happen. I DO like the size. It is a handy little phone and probably is pretty durable. It happens to be the one I got for my mom. It is a cute green color. I could care less about the lack of camera. It is fun to play with but not at all something I use on a regular basis.

So what now. I could return it, pay for the charger and give that to my mom. I think there is a 7 day return limit (need to read the fine print). I really hate plugging money into this crap, as well as creating more e-waste. I also hate being confined by a company. However there is much to be said for product reliability and quality. I guess I will see if I can't slip over there tomorrow and see what they will (can) do for little ol' me.

Popcorn Update!

So I accomplished my mission. I have made a successful batch of homemade microwave popcorn.

I used a brown paper lunch bag, 1/2 cup popcorn, a tsp or so of EVOO. I mixed the kernels and oil in a small bowl. Then I poured the well coated kernels into a paper bag. I folded the top down 2 times. I placed the bag in the microwave, and pressed 2 mins. I watched the process adding 30 secs intervals 3 times. After about 1.5 mins the popping began! I pulled it out when the popping slowed. As it is I had a full bag, with some uncooked kernels and some burnt ones.

Since I didn't flavor the kernels before, it was a very plain taste. (I imagine tho a pretty healthy one.) My next attempts will be to add flavor, prior to cooking. Also I will be working hard to have the correct cooking balance of oil to kernels to cook time.

All in all, I am not unhappy. The girls ate a bowl each. That says something, right? Especially since there was no flavoring...

Pop! Pop! Pop!

I absolutely love popcorn. We all know, that Movie Theater popcorn is that evil beast that tastes oh so damn good and is oh so damn horrible for us in every way. Lucky for me the movie theater is a place i have not stepped foot into since I was preggo with Elly. The ensuing birth and care of 1 and then a second child takes up most of my free time. The lack of funds and babysitters takes away the other opportunities for a movie get away.

My second popcorn habit is good old snacking at home. I have always been a fan of Microwave Popcorn. I actually became more of a fan this past summer as I was trying to find lowfat ways to snack. Then I heard a radio interview on talk radio. The guest was Nena Baker, the author of The Body Toxic. She had a lot of evidence against the teflon industry as well as other prevalent chemicals in our everyday lives. Her suggestion, was to make some easy changes. The first being to avoid teflon. We have eliminated our teflon pans. Now we have cast iron and stainless. But that is not to say that things we use dont still have teflon. One of which...the bag that holds the microwave popcorn. Here is an article that explains the caricongens that can be found in microwave popcorn bag. One of her more ominous warnings was for pregnant women. She maintains that of all the scary stuff out there, avoid the popcorn. There is a high chance that the carcinogens cross the placenta, and there is not enough information supporting the harmlessness of it all. Just don't consume mirco popcorn...like we give up wine and cigarettes...

Since hearing this, I haven't purchased anymore of the convenient bags of popcorn. But I miss my snack. So my options are:

1. The old fashioned way on a pan on the stove.



2. An air popper



3. Using a paperbag and bulk popcorn in the microwave.

Out of all of these, my 1st choice was number 2. This was before learning about the cool paperbag trick. I haven't tried it YET. I have heard great things tho, and the ability to custom flavor and season is surely appealing. If this fails me, I will learn number 1, and then I will march to the nearest big box to purchase an air popper.

Follow up review later today on the success (or lack thereof) of the Bag trick.

On a Bender

Excuse me while I take a blogging time out to continue indulging in falling off the wagon. I seem to be shoving everything pastry and breadlike into my ever ready mouth. If I care to figure it out, the impetus seems to be connected to my coffee shop beverage treats.....

Sadly there are 2 victims from this behavior....my waistband and my wallet. Both are imporing me to just stop. My logical thinking is just not strong enough to beat back the instant gratification urges.

If you can point me in the direction of a program (12 steps or not...) I am all ears. Until then, I must complete the trio of petitte scones. One sad one is just waiting for my attentions....

25 Things

I was tagged. Lizzie got me on her blog today, and yesterday on my facebook page. She says it was so fun, she wanted to do it again. I actually found myself thinking about more things I could have listed and didn't. So I will do it again...and Lizzie insists I can't cheat and use items I listed on facebook.

So here goes:

Rules: Once you've been tagged, write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. The only rule is that you have to post different stuff if you did one on FB.

1. I taught elementary school for 6 years, and then had my 1st baby and decided to stay home with my girls.
2. One big reason that we won't be having more children is that I really like to sleep-and my kids have not been good sleepers as babies. I am not even recovered yet from Bri, who will be 2 in April.
3. I love to read. I consider romance and easy reading (as often found in the end caps at grocery stores) to be my mindless reading. I can flip through one of those puppies in a day easy. I do enjoy more thought provoking titles (as often found on Oprah's Book Club list). I really don't enjoy the classics and more antique titles.
4. I am the oldest of 6. My brother and I have the same mom and same dad. With my dad and stepmom, there are 4 more (3 sisters and a brother).
5. The youngest is 18 years younger than I am.
6. I love word games (family inheritance from both sides). I play Scrabble online (www.isc.ro). Come challenge me! (wordmami is my handle)
7. I am very interested in my family heritage.
8. My dad's side is Italian. Someday I would like to be able to say I have seen the "Mother Country", and can speak the Native tongue.
9. My mom's side shows a scholarly trend. Great Great Grandpa was a Stanford Professor and published author of scientific studies.
10. My husband drives my family car to work and I drive the big work/hunting truck. It's all about gas mileage.....
11. I accidently bought a small sized underwear at Victoria's Secret and it fits! (SCORE!)
12. There is a spot on the couch that is mine and mine alone....better not sit there!
13. It is almost 7pm and I am only on my 2nd glass of water all day.
14. I have found many wonderful friends online that I have never met in real life. Someday, we will see if we have been honest in our virtual representations. :-)
15. I think I could be a better cook if my husband weren't so critical and picky. It is nice that he has ideas and is in fact quite competent....but seriously...it is inhibitive to the rest of us.
16. In the 17 years of our relationship-9.5 married, we have never had one of "those" fights. We do sometimes get snarky and pissy, but it rarely goes past a night and never has slamming doors etc.
17. I am a control freak.
18. Some of my friends' kids bug me.
19. Shopping for bargains is an obbsession and often I spend more than I budget because I can't pass something up.
20. I was named for a Bob Dylan song. Visions of Johanna is the title.
21. I have never been Johanna except for formal situations.
22. My parents were hippies....
23. I often write my blog imagining that scores of people are reading me, and thoroughly enjoying themselves. In reality, I am aware that it is a small handful that read me faithfully. I don't however know how they feel because it is rare that they comment. (HINT HINT!)
24. I like sewing. I am getting better, but I am no Betsy Ross.
25. If you are on FB I am obsessed with my lil garden. I like getting plants and sorting them.

Whew! Well, I am not tagging anyone, because I think our little circle has been tagged enough. The tag stops here (unless you would like to do this exercise.....then by all means go for it and share it with me!)

Obama Rock!

Elly is proving to be an excellent student....

She was very interested in yesterday's inaugural proceedings. She can identify our new President, and his wife and family. She recognizes and hums the Presidential March.

Just today, she was discussing with me about her Grandma watching yesterday and that the local wild deer were listening too. Everyone she encounters is subject to her announcing just how awesome Obama Rock is. She has decided he is named that....I like it!

Here are a few pictures of the girls watching while President Obama is sworn in.

Happy Wednesday!

100 Calorie Snacks

Yesterday I was reading a website that led to me to a website that led to me to a website. You know how that goes....I can't even remember now what initiated the search. I think, a recipe...

Anyway, I was reading this gals budgeting website. She claims that it is possible to feed a family of 4 with $200 a month and only $30 of that for meat. She has access to butchers that will sell for under the standard grocery store prices. (I am thinking I might investigate this...living in the "farmlands-turned tract homes" should enable this right?)

So she challenged her readers to stop using convenience foods. No pre-packaged, no ready to back, no easy peasy. She suggests that we would save hundreds of dollars a year by making our own convenience foods.

This, in addition to my attempt to eat better and maintain a healthy diet plus my snacky needs led to the next search. How to make my own 100 calorie snacks. Thus eliminating the packaging, the extra cost, and the processed foods. Since I am home so much of the time, I don't need to open a tiny foil wrapped bag of cookies. I should be able to gauge 100 calories (approximately) of something I already have, that is more in line with my dietary and environmental goals.

Score! I found a bunch of websites!

This is one site I saved for future reference and a quick table they had listed for ideas.

Here are some ideas that are all 100 calories or less!


*Individual serving of skim milk (8 oz)

*Silk plain single serve soymilk (8 oz)

*1 oz. or 2 Tbsp. hummus with 5 pretzel crisps (Sabra Hummus To
Go)

*½ of container (2.5 oz.) tunafish (BumbleBee Easy Peel
Sensations, Lemon & Cracked Pepper) on 3 Reduced Fat Triscuit
crackers

*5.3 oz. container of Oikos organic yogurt or Fage Total 0% yogurt
with ¼ cup blueberries

*Half of a medium pear with 1 oz. low-fat string cheese

*15 grapes with 1 wedge Laughing Cow Lite cheese

*½ cup cottage cheese (fat free) with ½ cup any raw veggies

*2 cups light popcorn (94% fat free) with 2 tsp. reduced fat
parmesan cheese

*14 baby carrots and ½ cup bell pepper strips with 2 Tbsp. fat free
ranch dressing

*Half of a medium apple with 2 tsp. natural peanut butter

*1 oz. (about 3 slices) turkey (Hillshire Farms Deli Select Oven

*Roasted Turkey) with 1 slice 2% reduced fat cheese and mustard

*1 slice light bread (Natures Own Reduced calorie Honey wheat)
with 2 tsp. natural peanut butter

It's nice to know that I can snack just as successfully or better without a 100 calorie snack pack of Oreos.....I will be looking for more information. If I find a favorite I will be sure to share!

Progress Update

Thought I would update on my day.

In total, I was "free" for about 8 hours. I accomplished some of my list....

1.) Went for my run. Total route was 2.75 miles and I ran about 1.86 of them. (I use http://www.usatf.org/routes/map/ for mapping my outings)

2.) Showered (and yes shaved the legs!)

3.) Did some online reading about how to make my own 100 calorie snacks. (more on that tomorrow)

4.) Costco and Safeway

5.) Free panties at Victoria's.....

6.) Tidied up the front dining room table. It was buried under the sewing machine and my crafts. I re-located those cluttery items to the extra room.

7.) Laundry-one load folded and another washed (not such a big achiever here!)

8.) Visited with the nieghbors

9.) Sorted the upcoming bills.

10.) Played some online Scrabble.

That is about it. I would have hoped to do more with my time, but in the end, it was a nice relaxing day. Jose came home with the girls. The have a full cooler of fresh trout (dinner tonight!), and a day's worth of stories. The girls are bathed and fed, and having some downtime with Diego on tv. Bedtime will be early.

The Wonder of a Day

So I have a whole day.
All to myself.
No kids.
No husband.
A whole day.

What to do?

The irony is that there are soooo many things I could do in this day that I won't probably achieve any of them. A free hour is so precious....a day is baffling. I have no idea how to prioritize the options. I could do something for me, I could take care of things around the house, I could pick a project (loose pictures....file bills....make a movie with my digital pics....etc).

The truth is that within these choices, I feel like if I choose 1, then I am not taking advantage of the time for another thing....like a kid in a candy store.

My plan:

1. Finish coffee
2. Have a scrambled egg
3. Take the dog for a run
4. Shower (include shaving legs)
5. Hit up Costco
6. Yes, file last years bills
7. Make some cookies (once I have the eggs from Costco)
8. Laundry (washing machine is being troublesome...takes double the time due to poor draining and subsequent extra spin cycles)
9. ?
10. ?
11. ?
12. ?

Notice that most of the things on my list are not luxurious items....BUT it is a luxury to accomplish them without kid type interruptions. So in a way, I am taking full advantage of my freedom. (If I had some extra cash...I might be at the mall...but I don't...)

Overheard at my house this morning...

Background: Watching Animal Atlas after waking up. The theme is cats-wild and tame.

Elly says, "Briana, when you get bigger and I get bigger, do you want to come to my house? I will have a kitty cat. "

Bri says, "Yes."

Just a chuckle to start your morning.

Friday Night Feeling Fine

Got the classic rock station on....playing some fun tunes. Food is set for some good eats-tacos with carne asada, fresh chopped salsa, fresh boiled beans and rice. Probably there will be some margaritas flowing soon as the tequila man arrives. Kids are playing nicely. A nice ending to an awesome day and a very excellent week.

Sometimes it just seems so right.....especially coming out of a baaa-aaad funk last week. We'll just label it hormonal depression. Call me on it again if I am bugging next time and the timing is right.....

Happy weekend all! Looks like we may be planning a trip to the coast. Gotta get a fix on that ocean!

Score!

Get thee to Old Navy! The Clearance goodies have been marked down an additional 50%! Just to brag...

My reciept shows the following treasures...
For me:

1 Vneck long sleeve-$5.00
1 3/4 sleeve henley-$2.49(4.99 with 2.50 off )
1 long sleeve boat neck $2.49(4.99 with 2.50 off)

For Elly:
1 fleece sweat pants 1.49(2.99 with 1.50 off)
1 cords pants 5.49(10.99 with 5.50 off)

Total spent, 18.36 on a gift card----NO out of pocket, double score!

Just thought I would share....perhaps YOU too can be so lucky in savings!

The 1st Day of School....

Was a success! By all accounts, it was a happy (no tears) one. Elly doesn't have much to say about it, so I am gleaming bits and pieces from the teachers and her comments here and there.

Today I woke up at 7. The sleep was good! One peep around 2am, that never became a problem. I slipped out of bed and started coffee and got in a bit of computer time. Around 7:20, Daddy came out with Bri Bri. I sent him to wake up Elly around 7:30. We got breakfast rolling and I went to dress myself and deal with my hair and makeup. Came back out and began to prod Elly towards potty and teeth and changing clothes. Got the Bri dressed and coifed. We left with 20 minutes to spare. Of course it helped having Daddy with us to balance it all out. Even Chester came along for the ride.

We parked and shortly after our friends arrived and we all walked in together. We waited out in front of the gate for a bit. It was cold and foggy! Soon we were joined by the other students and the teachers. They walked us in to the classroom and began to teach the kids procedures of lining up and waiting at the door. Then we all went inside. There are 10 kids total, with 4 being regular ed students. The other 6 are special ed students. The adults are 3 teachers and 2 aides. Awesome ratio in my mind! The kids will have joint lessons and seperate lessons per their needs. Immediately upon coming in, the teachers were amazingly warm and friendly. They showed the children how to place their snacks on the table and their backbacks in their cubby. Then the children had freeplay. The parents drifted out and let school begin.

Since it is a collaborative program with our school district, they will recieve PE with the school site PE teacher, they will have some interaction with the kinder kids for assemblies. There is even a walking fieldtrip to the adjoined park for Dinosaur Digging coming up!

Elly is ready for another day and is planning all of the things she will be telling her teachers (of which she doesn't know their names....).

As an aside, Bri was very worried as we left the school that we didn't haveour Elly. She kept repeating "Elly" over and over. We explained she is a big girl doing big girl things at school. It seemed to be enough.

I am ready for tomorrow too. I have clothes picked out, snack made, papers filled out. We are all bathed and I am hoping that we have another smooth take off.

Here are a few pics to share our morning.

Walking to the truck-Notice the HUGE backpack. It was what she wanted...

Walking through the parking lot holding Ella's hand and Daddy's.

Waiting for the teachers to come. Elly looks excited, Ella...not so much!

Super foggy and cold! The classes are beyond the gate.

Walking up the walk. Great experiences to have with a friend!

Waiting....

Going in! Holding a teacher's hand.
Waiting in line.
The classroom. Note the 2 daddies holding paci loving babies. Those are ours...

Coming out of school. She looks pretty content!

UGH!

Potential Titles that were considered for this post:

1. Highs and Lows
2. Frusterations
3. Ponderings
4. Bummed
5. Hormonal Crap vs Sleep Deprivation
6. Dog Farts
7. Feeling Crazy
8. Dissatisfaction

I guess those are all for now. I can elaborate, and I will. I just am having a lot going on. So many new starts and seemingly endings.

**I know I am at hormonal funky place now. I can feel the pull of the candy bar and the attempts at Mz. Snappy Bitch trying to bust out. I also know that I have many emotions and ponderings that have resulted from my Grandma's fall and subsequent hospitalization. I have been tossing around heavy thoughts about the will to live versus actual vitals (being that Grammy is alive, all functions besides kidney are hers...however the light is just not there....and the mind is just not as quick). Horrible bleak black thoughts that weigh heavy.

** I am exhausted from re-training (aka CRY/SCREAM IT OUT from the crib not 10 feet away from me) the Bri who became spoiled while being sick. Wants back in on the parents' bed action. It makes it harder to cope with the other crap.

**Elly starts school tomorrow. While I am excited, I am sad, and questioning. Is it too soon...Will she adjust well....I can't believe I am sending her off to school already. It is a wonderful program and should prove to be beneficial for her.

**Opportunities are just a little bit out of reach. For instance, I was in a community resource center this afternoon obtaining sample contracts to prepare for watching a friend's little girl ina few weeks. The employee was outlining various jobs within the State and County Education levels. They are EXACTLY what I have been considering instead of going back to the classroom at some point. The hold-up, we are committed to me being home until Bri Bri is in school. I was so exciting talking to her. I felt valued as a proffesional, as an adult, as a potential earner (again!). We really can use a real 2nd salary. We are staying out of the water, but it's hard. Most days I am ok with the budgeting and the Target level shopping. I would love a little wiggle room to splurge here and there, to not be so practical. SIGH....it is not for now.

Of course, I am trying hard to get back on the wagon for my diet and exercise. All of this low energy and dark moods make me want to run fo the nearest carton of deeply sinful ice cream and the largest bag of processed cookies (Mint Milanos sound pretty awesome right now....). Today, I had 1.5 scrambled eggs for breakfast alongside my coffee (E demanded a few bites), a double caramel non fat mocha at dance class, 1/2 a madeliene cookie, a few pieces of sugarfree gum, a most wonderful chicken, cheddar and chipotle (PLEASE ask me all about this as it is one fo Jose's new flavors!!!!!) sauce wrap, a few pieces of See's candy, a big glass of water and a bowl of Life cereal. I think I did ok. It was much better than the past days. So at least something went well....

I am not even sure how much of my rambling is logical or clear. It does help to think it through and attempt to explain it all. I should probably finish up-although I feel like I could keep on flowing malcontents. Most likely I should shut the laptop down, and go to bed. I am certain that sleep would resolve much of my funk.

So trusty follower, I leave you to absorb my ponderings. Tomorrow's topic will be BACK TO SCHOOL!

Not Such a Great Start...

Well our New Year was full of excitement!

NOT!

The past 2 nights we have had very little sleep. Tuesday night we were just going to bed, Bri woke up all cranky like. I tried and tried getting her back to sleep. Being that it was 1:30 am, I gave up and into our bed she came. Around 4 am, I felt her playing with my hair and noticed that she was blazing hot. We stripped the pj's off and dosed her with some motrin. We were able to get a few hours of sleep. Over the course of Wednesday, she was a grumpy needy sickly child. We continued the routine of medicine and fever reducing. Trying to keep her calm and resting was hard. Last night after attempting to celebrate with our neighbors, we managed to get her to bed around 9:30. She was asleep for about an hour in her crib, before it was obvious she was uncomfortable. Needless to say we were in bed at 11:30. I think that is the earliest and most mundane New Years Eve since I was a child. It was a horrible night. We all found sleep somewhere around 5 am. Elly was up around 7:30. Lucky for me, Daddy was up with her. Bri and I slept a few more hours. We woke up and she was just as funky. I made an appt and we saw the pediatrician. She looked in ears and throat and stopped there. A quick throat swab was done. Tomorrow we will learn if this is just a nasty cold....or Strep. And so we endure...Jose got out to the lake (I sent him for some mental and physical therapy) and will be at work tomorrow. The girls and I are laying low.

I can only hope Elly can stay healthy. She has dance class Tuesday and Wednesday will start preschool! I can only hope we protect her from Sissy's germs.

Stay tuned folks....